Things I've Learned in Thailand

(transcribed, as always, from my wonderful little notebook)

1. Always carry a book. You never know when you're going to be left in a car, field or neighbor's house for 40 minutes without warning.

2. Avoid copious consumption of bananas and sticky rice. Sometimes you won't even know you're eating them - they may be hidden in banana leaves or coconut. But they're everywhere. And lethal.

3. Ant eggs are as gross tasting as they seem.

4. Always accept rides from strangers in your neighborhood, lest they tell your host family that you're ungrateful and/or hostile.

5. When in doubt, wai and smile.

6. A little air pollution builds character. A lot of air pollution must be doing me wonders.

7. Kittens are not cute. They are, in fact, rabid.

8. Coming to Thailand with blonde hair is an open invitation for anyone and everyone to touch it/smell it/ drape it over their own heads.

9. I'm currently sitting in a car while 2 men try to change the tyre and my host mother won't let me out. This is totally normal.

10. I am the spitting image of both the Mona Lisa and Princess Mary of Denmark.

11. Stop signs are optional. Honking your horn will suffice.

12. Life is a gastrointestinal rollercoaster.